she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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