He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
