dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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