You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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