Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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