this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize