There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
