How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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