After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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