..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
