Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
