a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
