Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I touched a dick in church today
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