I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
