your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
