i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
need another drink. this is the easiest way
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
