New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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