She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
