I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I look better un-naked...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
PANTIES FOUND
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