Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize