Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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