Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
