i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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