Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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