Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
soo... how was my night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
