apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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