Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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