Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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