so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
