Dignity is for republicans.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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