did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
