i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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