He asked to "fluff my boner.."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
