I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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