My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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