dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
