Just cropdusted the office
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize