what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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