If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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