EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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