YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
