Kiss
Puke
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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