No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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