I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize