The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
