from now on my penis is your penis
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
