So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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