dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
