how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
