i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
