Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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