I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
