Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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