omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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