The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
