"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
