How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
time to smoke my breakfast
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want nice things and good sex
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
