where does the pee come out of this thing
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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