what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
