Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
