He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
