i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't make out with my wife yet
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
