She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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