u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
